by Stacy Barton on January 23, 2012
seems like when we were young, hope sprang eternal that things would change – that WE would change. herculean efforts ensued as we worked to become our “best self,” to better our world, our children, our neighborhoods.
or so it was with me.
cycle after cycle of solutions were regularly discovered as i sought to become everything beautiful with nothing broken. at some point in this revolving process i began to wonder what might happen if i were to embrace my brokenness. and so i did. but after a time, this merely landed me in hell, broken on the floor of some dark cave. sometime after this i was reminded again of my beauty, and so i began the tedious journey of balancing both beauty and brokenness.
now, older and wiser, i find that i care less for how beautiful or broken i am, i simply accept. i don’t examine or tally. i am no longer interested in fighting for change. i accept. i am willing to ride change, perhaps still to be changed, but i do not seek it in the same way. i accept that i simply am what i am. that this life is what it is. i smell beauty and comfort pain. i feel hope, but for spirit not circumstance.
and for me this is more than enough.
by Stacy Barton on January 9, 2012
it’s monday january 9 and we are truly down to 3. only one child in the house to awaken this morning. only two lunches to make.
the holidays have been full of our eldest coming over from her place and our middle two home from school. the last one went home this weekend and this is the first work week with what has become our regular trio.
all of that to say … perhaps i can get back into a regular swing with my new novel. she hasn’t had much attention since my hubby’s birthday in november. (what with the big thanksgiving and christmas that followed) it has been an absolutely glorious season. i have enjoyed cooking and cleaning, gift buying and giving and laughter and outdoor fires and stories and all my babies gathered ’round.
but 3 of the four have gone back to their worlds – at least for now – and i really must get back to writing. well, not just any writing…i have written for disney and even finished a draft of a musical review for a middle school…the writing i am excited to feel stirring within me is my novel. dear girl.
and so i shall make a sacred place for her this week…make friends again…woo her out.
yum.
